Most people hear the words masculine energy and feminine energy and immediately think of outdated gender roles:
“Men work. Women stay home. That’s polarity.”
But that’s not just untrue, it’s one of the biggest reasons so many marriages feel disconnected, resentful, or confused.
And I say that with love… because I once believed those same misconceptions myself.
Why This Conversation Matters
For years, I thought that being a stay-at-home mother meant I was naturally “in my feminine.”
I had three little ones at home, and then a fourth. I was doing all the kids’ needs, the meals, the laundry… all the things we associate with being nurturing and “feminine.”
But I wasn’t soft, open, connected, or grounded. I was exhausted. Hyper-controlling. Shut down emotionally.
And I couldn’t figure out why I felt more disconnected in my marriage than ever.
Because here’s the truth:
Your job or your daily tasks do not determine your feminine or masculine energy. Your way of being does.
And this applies to every person inside a marriage.
What Masculine Energy Actually Looks Like
Recently, I worked with a man whose wife had moved out, leaving him as the full-time caregiver to their children. He was doing the laundry, the meals, the school runs, everything.
He came to me terrified that he had “lost his masculine energy,” because the internet told him men who do chores can’t be masculine.
But what he was really doing?
Leading with steadiness.
Showing up with purpose.
Holding his family with grounded strength.
That is healthy masculine energy.
Masculine energy is not about tasks. It’s about leadership, direction, steadiness, anchored presence, and emotional containment—regardless of who’s doing the dishes.
What Feminine Energy Actually Looks Like
Feminine energy is not folding laundry or baking bread or staying home with children.
Feminine energy is openness, softness, emotional depth, intuition, creativity, and the courage to receive.
It’s the river, flowing, expressive, ever-shifting.
But many women fear accessing this softness because they’ve been conditioned to hustle, control, manage, over-function, and stay “strong.”
Others have wounds around masculine energy, abandonment, betrayal, or growing up without a steady masculine presence.
And for men, many were never shown what healthy masculine leadership even looks like… so stepping into it feels foreign and intimidating.
The Real Reason Polarity Dies in a Marriage
Polarity doesn’t evaporate because:
- You both work
- You share chores
- You’re busy parents
- Or because someone stays home
Polarity fades when both people are living from fear instead of essence—
when a woman is hardened and self-protective,
and a man feels directionless, passive, or unanchored.
The relationship loses its rhythm.
And that’s why understanding masculine and feminine energy matters, not because we need roles or stereotypes, but because we need balance, safety, and aliveness.
Practical Ways to Reconnect With These Energies
These shifts don’t require a lifestyle overhaul. Start with:
✔ For reconnecting with feminine energy:
-Practice receiving without apologizing
-Let yourself feel your emotions instead of managing them
-Slow down and connect with your inner world
-Express your desires even when it feels vulnerable
✔ For reconnecting with masculine energy:
-Choose a direction and commit to it
-Create steadiness through routines or structure
-Lead conversations with calm, grounded presence
-Hold space during emotional moments instead of reacting
These are simple, internal shifts, not external roles.
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