From the Brink of Divorce to Rebuilding Love: Why Your Marriage Isn’t Hopeless

This morning, I went for a walk with no makeup on, coffee in hand, and my family in town helping with the kids.

And I thought: this is the perfect time to share my story with you.
Because if you’re here, chances are you’re wondering if your marriage can actually survive the disconnection, the resentment, maybe even the word “divorce” hanging in the air. And I want you to know: I’ve been there.

After four children in five years, the stress in my marriage was unbearable. We had no family nearby, my husband’s job was demanding, and my younger sister was dying of cancer. It was too much for a foundation that was never really built in the first place.

We argued constantly. We didn’t know how to have tough conversations. We brought all our baggage, unconscious patterns, and past wounds into the marriage — and it all collided.

Eventually, my husband told me he wanted a divorce. He moved out. And I was left in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, devastated and wondering how my “perfect life” had crumbled.

Therapists told me it was over. Friends told me to move on. But deep down, I had this knowing: there was something here I needed to learn.

I realized something profound: the version of me that created this relationship was not going to be the version of me who could transform it.
That was the wake-up call.

Instead of screaming, blaming, or begging him to change, I turned inward. I invested my limited time, energy, and resources into understanding relationships — and myself. Why did I keep repeating this pattern of abandonment? Why did I hand over all my power, waiting for him to change?

And slowly, something shifted. Not overnight. But as I changed, the system between us changed. He drew closer. We began spending more time together. Nine months later, my husband moved back home. Today, our marriage is stronger than ever — not because it’s perfect, but because we know how to repair and because we’ve built a foundation that lasts.

Here’s what I see all the time in the women and couples I work with:

Wishing and Waiting. Hoping things will magically improve, praying for change, giving space without doing the inner work. Prayer is powerful — but prayer without action is just wishing.

Over-functioning. Throwing books, podcasts, and therapy sessions at the problem. Doing “more” on the outside while ignoring the real shifts needed on the inside.

Neither of these creates transformation. Why? Because the relationship is a system. You are literally half of that system. When you change, the system changes.

The truth is, it’s rarely about the dishes or the laundry. Yes, practical actions matter — they make us feel seen and supported. But the deeper work is about shifting the dynamic. It’s about asking yourself:

What version of me keeps showing up here?

What’s being mirrored back to me in this disconnection?

How can I grow, elevate, and step into the partner I want to be?

When you stop trying to control your spouse and start doing the inner work, the energy of the relationship shifts. And that’s when repair becomes possible.

If your marriage feels hopeless, please hear this: it’s not. I know because I lived it. But nothing changes if you don’t change. The old version of you can’t create a new relationship.

It’s not about waiting for your spouse to “get it.” It’s not about overloading them with tools and hoping they’ll catch on. It’s about stepping into your own transformation — because when you change, everything changes.

If you’re tired of waiting, wishing, or over-functioning, it’s time for something different. I specialize in helping women (and couples) turn around marriages that feel too far gone.

👉 Book a call now to start your own turnaround journey. Whether your spouse is all-in or completely checked out, you hold the power to shift the system. And that shift could save your marriage, or save you.